


Essay 1: John Egbert | Con Air

by LightlyIntertextual (Laurasauras)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Analysis, Essays, Heroism, Masculinity, Meta, Toxic Masculinity, Wholesome Masculinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21980266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurasauras/pseuds/LightlyIntertextual
Summary: An analysis of howCon Airhas influenced John Egbert and Homestuck's story as a whole, particularly in relation to masculinity and heroism.
Kudos: 38





	Essay 1: John Egbert | Con Air

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first essay in a series where I will be focusing on the relationship between Homestuck, its characters, and real world media. Please let me know if you would like to see my takes on something in particular in the comments!

What better way to start this series of essays than with _Con Air,_ the joy of Homestucks, the absolute pinnacle of Nic Cage’s 90s era, a dumb action movie filled with explosions and vehicular shenanigans. I’m looking forward to reading way too much into it!

I joke, but that is absolutely what is about to happen. Like many things in _Homestuck,_ _Con Air_ is both ridiculous and meant to be taken as a joke, but it has some pretty interesting hidden depths, and over the course of this essay I’m going to tease some of them out, and then I’ll explain why I’ve gone to the trouble.

Shockingly, there aren’t a lot of academic articles on _Con Air,_ and what does exist (and isn’t behind a ridiculous paywall) is gleefully in favour, using _Con Air_ as an example of the best of the 90s action genre. I read dozens of articles, mostly review based, and have cited at the end where I’ve gotten ideas that aren’t my own interpretation. 

John’s favourite movie says a lot about him. Though there’s the obvious joke that his movie taste is “bad”, and there’s the obvious links to the disaster movies and the overall plot of Homestuck, this and the other movies on John’s walls are also the kind of movies that are directed at “the masses” and because of this, they’re interesting to study. What kind of ideology does Hollywood project at the masses? 

Let’s talk about what ideology is here, because it’s definitely going to come up a lot during this series. The way we understand ideology today goes back to Marx’s definition in _The German Ideology._ It’s a ‘world-view’ that refers to ideas, beliefs and values. Its existence and workings distort peoples self-understanding and it is the cause of people misrecognising the reasons for their own oppression and/or unhappiness, because it hides the true workings of society.

Ideology is how we _think_ about society, rather than how it is. The easiest way to identify the dominant ideology of a culture is to look at the stories the culture tells. And stories, for a very long time, have been distributed from the influential (and therefore generally wealthy, white, cis-male, heterosexual) onto every person in society. I’m gonna take a second here to point out that I’m Australian, and that the ideology I am exposed to is predominately American. These standards are not universal, but they are applicable to Homestuck, so that’s what I’m talking about.

So, what are the ideologies and values behind _Con Air?_ A brief summary, if you haven't had the pleasure of seeing it yet.

Cameron Poe is a war hero, reconnecting with his beautiful, blonde, pregnant wife Tricia, when he gets into a fight with some men who after disrespecting him for no reason, later attempt to attack him and Tricia. Poe fights back and accidentally kills one of them when he punches him. Because he has the worst lawyer ever, it’s 8 years before he’s allowed out on parole. 

But in order to get out, he’s being transported across country with a bunch of other criminals, and while on the plane, the criminals take over. Poe pretends that he’s one of these bad guys in order to protect the innocent and help land the plane.

Shenanigans ensue, mostly of the explosive variety, and there’s a more detailed synopsis on Wikipedia, but eventually the criminals crash the plane into Las Vegas and Poe is heroically reunited with his wife and daughter, finally giving little Casey the bunny that was symbolic of his fatherly love. If you’ve read Homestuck, you know that’s the most important part. 

Let’s talk about that bunny. 

The first time we notice John’s fixation on _Con Air_ , it’s when he’s quoting the “put the bunny back in the box” scene ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/20)). Later, Dave gives him that same bunny for his birthday present ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/132) ). When he completes his ectobiological duty in creating himself and his friends, he hands out bunnies to the Lalonde girls in a recreation of the closing fatherly scene ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/1930)). The bunny is representative of fatherhood in _Con Air_ and John is obsessed with father figures. His dad is the Platonic Ideal of Dadness. But from whose culture? Because dads are pretty varied dudes in real life.

Well, American, somewhat obviously. Dad Egbert is the perfect non-threatening picture of domestic masculinity; super fucking strong but too much of a gentleman to be a danger. He wears hats and keeps himself clean-shaven. He is so, so proud of his son.

Now Cameron Poe doesn’t have the 50s gentleman aesthetic, but he is a ridiculously strong fighter with a strict morality who would do anything for his family. And the bunny, included on Nic Cage’s own suggestion, is greatly symbolic of this. 

John recognises this, presenting the Salamander he names Casey with the bunny [saying](https://www.homestuck.com/story/1601),

“I got a present for you, Casey. 

It's a little dirty. 

A LITTLE ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES

JUST LIKE YOUR DEAR OLD EX CON DAD

WITH A HEART OF GOLD” 

The completely unsubtle projection of Poe’s familial love onto the stuffed bunny he got for his daughter’s birthday is exactly the kind of symbolism that appeals to John: the very obvious kind. And, despite the fact that 95% of this movie is devoted to fight scenes, explosions, and witty one-liners of dubious sincerity (sometimes all at once), the moment when Poe finally gives Casey her bunny and reunites with his loving wife and daughter is genuinely touching. John’s various bunny distribution moments are not _quite_ as touching, but that might be partially because John feels an obligation to step into the role of Poe, to be the father and hero, despite the fact that he still wants and needs his own dad, as represented through his greatest wish from Act 2 until Act 5, which is to be reunited with him. 

I mentioned earlier that Dad is the platonic ideal of dadliness, and in part this was a quip, but it’s also true. “Platonic ideals” in this sense refers to Plato’s idea of the world of ideas, in which every object and concept exists in perfection, but which cannot be communicated in the real and flawed world. Think of the way alchemisation works in Homestuck. When conjuring a chair, the alchemiter will spit out the same chair every time unless it is combined with another idea, in which case it will no longer be referred to as simply “chair”.

Both John and Jane are delivered with identical dads, as uniform in appearance and behaviour as the perfectly generic objects, because each of them have been raised in a quintessentially “normal” life, which must include a picket fence, tire swing, and a dad. Not just any dad, but the embodiment of wholesome masculinity. 

Perhaps this is why John doesn’t relate Cameron Poe to his (as far as we know) flawless dad. Cameron Poe isn’t flawless. He’s a hero that makes mistakes, even though he loves his family. And he’s definitely victim to the kind of toxic masculinity that plagues _Con Air_ , and, with considerably more awareness, _Homestuck._

John has a breakdown about not liking Con Air while on the ship ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/5278) ), which he later tells Roxy he got over ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/6455) ). But let’s look at that more closely. The first time I read it, I just thought it just was another callback and only saw the surface level hilarity. And it _is_ funny, but it also clearly has some significantly deeper meaning.

There’s some clear allusions to John’s mental state. As implied during _Homestuck_ and explicitly stated in the epilogues, John has depression.

He’s also disillusioned with the idea of being a hero and with all the associated hero dynamics. Including, tragically, the sidekick.

In an earlier flash, John acted out scenes from _Con Air_ with the ectobabies. During this, we see a poster of _Con Air,_ which has been edited to make John take the place of Cameron Poe (Nic Cage), Dave as Vince Larkin (John Cusack) and Karkat as Cyrus “The Virus” (John Malkovich) ( [ https://www.homestuck.com/story/1931 ](https://www.homestuck.com/story/1931) no longer available because flash [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NtMgUpnXeU ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NtMgUpnXeU)). While these character comparisons are nebulous at best—John also casts Jack Noir as Cyrus “The Virus”, the kid is all over the place—it’s hard not to remember that he saw Dave as his sidekick as he continues his rant.

[ ](Edited%20Con%20Air%20poster.)

He dismisses the heroism that Larkin displays in the movie, and instead focuses on the developing bromance between him and Poe. Then, to drive the comparison home and prove that I’m not pulling this all out of my ass, immediately after making the judgement that their friendship is more important than Poe’s relationship with his wife and daughter, John is interrupted by being poked with one of Davesprite’s feathers. ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/5290))

Dave’s presence as a participant in John’s ideals of masculinity is important, as is his association with heroism, particularly as a side kick. John’s inability to perceive other people as heroes of their own stories is as symptomatic of his depression as it is as his undeniable role as Homestuck’s primary hero. Dave is a sidekick. It’s John’s story. 

The conversation shifts to one that ends with John throwing a tantrum so hard he passes out. That’s not relevant to _Con Air_ , it’s just hilaritragic. 

So, let’s talk about Cameron Poe, who represents John himself in his own mind. He literally roleplays as him, like Tavros does Pupa Pan. So what are the attributes that make Poe a hero?

Firstly, there’s his devotion to his wife and daughter, as we’ve already discussed. 

Secondly, there’s his patriotism and strong sense of doing what is right. Poe is an ex-army ranger, a group that prides itself on not leaving anyone behind, and Poe embodies these values; they’re the reason he stays on the plane when he could have gone free. It is this patriotism and his relationship with his wife that the men who ambush him attack—they literally rip the stripes off his jacket. Baby-O repeatedly references his military background, calling him “Ranger” and other nicknames. 

Curiously, this movie portrays Baby-O as incredibly sympathetic, despite the fact that with the exception of Poe and the undercover DEA agent, this plane is full of prisoners who are either serving life or are up for the death penalty. ”The worst of the worst”. But Baby-O is a friend to Poe, _and_ religious in the way that is ideologically associated with the best kind of American.

This is relevant, because when Baby-O is shot for trying to protect Poe, he has a crisis of faith, to which Poe responds: 

Because Poe doesn’t only emulate the ideal American army man, he also represents Jesus. I know, this might seem like a bit of a stretch, but I’m not just basing it on his beautiful flowing locks and a one off line. 

Jesus was an unfair victim of the justice system as well, who still did everything he could to help people, especially the vulnerable, he had the power to perform miracles (which is honestly the only way half of this plot makes sense) and he had the whole world in his hands ([youtube clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uiBwg6DPXI)). Who is Garland Greene talking about? God? Or Poe, who has commandeered the plane and is responsible for their mostly safe crash landing?

And the religious metaphors aren’t limited to Poe. The philosophical questions at the heart of _Con Air_ around the value a life are ones that all religions attempt to answer, and the conclusions _Con Air_ draws are very Christian. Remorse Garland Greene is seemingly allowed scot free following a series of scenes in which his redemption appears to be limited to “did not murder a child”, but his acceptance of the girl’s Christian song speaks more to accepting God into his life, erasing his prior sins. 

In his essay, “It's Not Bastille Day. It's 'Con Air' Day”, Chandler points out that, “Within the philosophical system of Con Air, there is not just simply good-guy and mad dog, but Abraham (Cusack) and the God of the Old Testament (Meany) arguing over the sanctity of one good life amid all the ambient evil.” 

But the point isn’t _just_ that Poe is Jesus, or just that he represents the army. He’s both, because this is the most ridiculously American movie ever made, and I mean that both as a compliment and as a fond criticism. Have a look at the Cracked video sourced at the end for a humorous analysis of the conservative messages in the movie.

Thirdly, and relatedly, he has those good ol’ Southern values to match his drawling accent. Like a chivalrous cowboy-knight, Poe cannot leave a damsel in distress, or his friend to die. 

And how does this relate to John? This portrayal of perfect movie hero has definitely been internalised by John, not just from _Con Air_ but from the countless action movies that feature characters with the initials “J.C.” or for whom doves fly, or any of the other ways that Hollywood has equivalised Jesus with “hero”. ( [ https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MessianicArchetype ](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MessianicArchetype))

And as it is internalised by him, so he shows the attributes that so many heroes do. His aspect is Breath, one that is heavily associated with the Bible on a language level, and which has been interpreted as the aspect of leadership and story. He also is the first to ascend to _god_ tier, something that requires the betrayal of someone in the group of twelve he trusts, and his death ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/3087)) . Check out OptimisticDuelist’s videos and essays for more on the religious imagery in _Homestuck ._ [This essay is a good place to start](https://medium.com/@RoseOfNobility/part-4-gnostic-myth-literally-fucking-everything-769c1e57af22). 

John is the primary hero of Homestuck. While all the other players are referred to as heroes of their aspects, we see no other quest in as much detail as John’s. 

[ He’s the first to use his powers: ](https://www.homestuck.com/story/2981)

He’s quick to try and take heroic responsibility onto himself, even as he acknowledges the importance of delegating: ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/3871))

He saves people he doesn’t even know without thought for his own safety: ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/4757))

There are so many examples of him being given the singular title of hero above his friends it’d be impossible to list them all, culminating in his getting the retcon powers ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/6094)) and having a way to literally and intentionally control the narrative. 

But while John is the hero, it doesn’t mean that he knows innately how to be one. It’s something he’s learned, from his Dad, from movies like _Con Air_ and from his friends, especially Dave.

The concept of heroism and masculinity are incredibly linked in our society’s ideology, within _Con Air_ and within Homestuck. While there are feminine role models of heroism, they’re more rare, especially within John’s sphere of understanding. 

Masculinity is a big theme in both _Homestuck_ and _Con Air._ _Con Air_ contains explosions, the army, a damsel in distress, explosions, political incorrectness, excessive swearing, mullets, explosions, quips and explosions. _Homestuck_ begins with a bunch of conversations between thirteen-year-olds in 2009. There’s plenty of machismo to be found, especially as the kids find themselves confronted with the kind of person they want to be as a grown up. Especially for Dave and John, there seems to be a capital M attached to the idea of Man, and neither of them are sure they can live up to the hype.

Where _Homestuck_ differs, is that these are children, who feel the full emotional weight of the responsibility that’s been put on them. Being a hero sucks, and when they start to question that, to question a world and society that lead them to believe that it wouldn’t, they also question masculinity.

Masculinity isn’t inherently evil. It’s not even inherently anti-community or communication. Dad’s strength _allows_ him to connect emotionally to John, because John trusts that he can rely on his Dad. 

Contrastingly, Bro’s outlawing of “uncool” or feminine behaviour robs Dave of the ability to trust because his approval is conditional of Dave performing his masculine role, one that has many rules and none of them are stated. As he comes to terms with the abuse he suffered under those toxic hyper-masculine standards, his rejection of the values that were engrained in him includes a rejection of the compulsion to fight, something that makes the necessity of him fighting despite these developments at the conclusion of _Homestuck_ tragic.

Of course this degree of nuance is not the goal of _Con Air,_ which might question the justice in a system where Poe (unrealistically) is imprisoned for so long for protecting his family, but which is faithful enough to simplistic notions of “good guys” and “bad guys” that you know that this asshole’s car is doomed from the moment he opens his mouth. 

(Malloy is definitely an example of toxic masculinity, but _Con Air_ isn’t punishing him for that specifically, but rather the crime of being an asshole, which he’s definitely also guilty of.)

Compared to Dave, John struggles more with questioning society. In the Candy epilogues, he gets the ending a hero in an action movie deserves. Roxy is associated with Trisha Poe from the moment he meets her ([ https://www.homestuck.com/story/1931 ](https://www.homestuck.com/story/1931) no longer available because flash [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NtMgUpnXeU ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NtMgUpnXeU)). Her pre-scratch self finds love with John’s Dad, because Roxys have always been fond of Egbert men. And of course ...

But John doesn’t live happily ever after once he’s finished with being a hero. He discovers that after being reunited with a pretty lady, the credits don’t roll. He has to actually participate in a marriage, and his action movies never prepared him for that, or for the idea that maybe he doesn’t want it. He’s still depressed, saving the day didn’t cure him, and his confusion over whether he’s in a story or not, something which he might have struggled with even without Rose’s lesson in canoninity. John has internalised the lessons from the media he consumed. And because he’s John, the media he consumed actually does impact the world.

I assume everyone knows that the posters in John’s room are indicators of the plot to come. I’ve talked about _Con Air_ relating strongly to his personal arc at length, but the other posters are referenced in some capacity too. 

John gets to science with slime and meet ghosts, referencing _Ghostbusters_ and _Ghost Dad._ He interacts with aliens, like the kid in _Mac and Me_ and Jodie Foster in _Contact_ . John uses his telescope to find an oncoming meteor like the kid at the beginning of _Deep Impact_ and then Dave and Rose go inside a moon (close enough to a meteor) in a suicide mission that will save the world. More meteors in _Armageddon_ , but this time an actual shower more similar to the reckoning (my god they’re similar movies). John describes trolls as looking like Howie Mandel from Little Monsters ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/1714) ) and later cites her horns as the reason he believes Vriska is an alien ([here](https://www.homestuck.com/story/3905)).

I honestly have nothing for _Failure to Launch, A Time to Kill_ or _Face Off,_ though maybe if I analysed them like Con Air I could find something. On the other hand, maybe they’re random! I’d like to think that, because of this theory:

I don’t think that the posters are _just_ indicators of the plot to come. I think that as Heir of Breath, John’s subconscious influences the narrative. Sburb is a video game, because John likes video games. Sburb chooses meteors as the rising action because they feature in John’s posters. The trolls are aliens because of other posters and look like Howie Mandel (ish) because that’s what John thinks aliens should look like.

This might seem counter-intuitive, as we know that the trolls were alive long before Earth was around, let alone John. But that’s not how causality works in _Homestuck._ The narrative order is more important than the chronological order. We see this when John refers to his friends by their pesterchum handles, right up until they’re introduced to the reader, when they are then referred to by their names. Or, maybe more significantly, we see John referred to as “John” before his thirteenth birthday. 

It’s because of John’s unique narrative-bending powers that I started this series with him. When talking about how external texts influence the internal world of _Homestuck,_ there isn’t a better parallel. And _Con Air_ —as John’s favourite movie, one he literally ends up inside and which he roleplays from—is the best example for how a story that impacts John can then impact his world.

In my next essay, I’ll cross the divide of the Scratch and talk about how the television show _Parks and Recreation_ has influenced Jane Crocker. 

  
  
  


Works cited:

Chandler, A. “It's Not Bastille Day. It's 'Con Air' Day.” _The Atlantic._ The Atlantic, 14 July, 2014, [ https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/07/its-not-bastille-day-its-con-air-day/374398/ ](https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/07/its-not-bastille-day-its-con-air-day/374398/).

Cracked. _10 Weirdly Conservative Hidden Messages in 'Con Air' - Today's Topic_ . Cracked, 2015. [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MyTkIK4wn8 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MyTkIK4wn8).

Hussie, Andrew. _Homestuck_. Homestuck, 2009. Homestuck.com.

Marx, Karl. _The German Ideology_. New York: Prometheus Books, 1976. Print.

West, Simon, director. _Con Air_. Touchstone Pictures, 1997. DVD.

Wikipedia. _Plato’s theory of forms._ [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_forms ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_forms)


End file.
